The Way Of Heart
by Chris2035
Summary: Sequel to "Once in a Lifetime" Chapter 7 up now!
1. Yesterday

**The Way Of Heart**

**A/N: **_Here it is. The sequel you've all been waiting for. For those of you who didn't read "Once In A Lifetime", you maybe should, cause it really helps you understanding that story. _

_For the others of you, who start reading right away: I won't bore you with any stupid talking! I hope you enjoy! And don't forget to hit the review button!_

_Oh and in this one flashbacks are written in italics. Just so we won't get any confusions. And all of sets eight years later. Summer is 34, her kids 15 and 10, Zach and Seth 35. I know the ages might not fit to the one I used in "Once In A Lifetime", but just be flexible okay?_

_Love ya all,_

_Chris_

**Chapter 1: Yesterday**

Summers POV

Zach's hand touched my back calming, the way he always did when we rested together, when I started to stir until I woke up. I loved Zach for many years, and that familiar and still unexpected gesture touched me every time.

Everybody else who saw us described us at the perfect couple. We slept in spoon style, had hardly differences of opinion, didn't go to the analyst and had a healthy sex life.

As if to prove my point Zach started to work his hands under my pj's top. I closed my eyes and enjoyed his touch. Zach was a tender and careful lover, although not that inventive. And of course no compare to--. I closed my eyes as if could make those thoughts go away. As I had done for the last eight years.

Zach worked his way down and kissed my bare skin after every button he had opened.

"I love you so much...",

"You too."

I didn't even know if he had noticed it, but for years I hadn't said the actual words "I love you" to him. For seven years, six months, two weeks and three days to be exact. That day had been the worst in my life.

_A yellow comfortable room. Voices out of the room right next to me. _

"_How am I supposed to tell her?" , a female voice asked._

"_She's not gonna take it well...", another woman said back._

"_Well, what kind of person would take that well?"_

"_Caren..."_

_They seemed to notice me so they closed more or less discretely the door._

_I felt panic rising in my chest. I'd been waiting here for one and a half hour already. Normally they just told me everything was fine and I was out again after twenty minutes. What was going on? What was the long secret discussion about?_

_I started having the weirdest imaginations about what could be wrong. And my worst nightmares seemed to come true when the door opened and my doctor came in with a serious, sad expression on her face towards me._

_Now I was really afraid._

"_What's going on?"_

"Mom!"

My daughters voice called through the house.

"And there goes the adult time...", Zach rolled himself of me.

"Mom!"

I gave him a peck on the lips: "We'll find some other time! I promise!"

"MOM!"

"Coming!", I yelled back and swung my legs out of bed.

When I had arrived in the kitchen from where I located the voice from I found pure chaos. Seemed like Michael and Lilly had tried to make the breakfast by themselves. Typical spoiled brats. It was the same every Wednesday when our maid had the day off. I know that was in big parts my fault. But since I had the possibilities to spoil them I didn't see a reason why I shouldn't.

I scanned Lilly, who was still wearing her pj's.

"Shouldn't you be getting ready for school?"

She put on her puppy eyes, like she did every time she wanted something: "You think it would be okay if I skipped the first two periods? Could you write me an excuse, or something?"

"What's the occasion?"

"Well, I didn't learn for that damn math test... and Mrs. Warren already hates me... Mom pleeeaaaseee!"

"All right." Of course she knew I'd say yes the second she asked me. "But you won't go to South Coast Plaza instead. You'll stay in."

I knew that I shouldn't even have been thinking about that, but I liked her better than Michael. Of course I loved him too, but she was just my little girl. In some weird way just like me. And Michael had always been very connected to his father.

"Thanks Mom, you're the best!", she flung her arms around me, before grabbing a cub and disappearing upstairs.

Shortly after that Zach came down. Ready for work.

He turned to our son who had just entered the kitchen: "Michael are you ready for school?"

When he nodded, Zach started to look around: "Where's Lilly? Is she not ready?"

"She's got the first two periods off. I'll drive her myself later", I lied into his face. Zach would never back me up in any of this. School was way to important to miss out... blah blah blah... He just took this whole stuff to seriously.

I guess that was also the reason why Lilly liked me better. We were just some kind of a unit against the men.

"She could still ride with me. Would give her a chance to go to the library! God knows wouldn't be the worst thing", he told me.

"Why can't you accept the fact that I'm not a genius?", Lilly leaned in the door.

"Because you got it in you! If you would just strain more! Instead of being lazy and partying with your idiot friends all the time."

"Have you ever thought about the possibility that I don't got _it_ in me?", she asked provocative.

"Well good luck finding a job without graduating college...", he sighted and emptied his coffee cup.

"I can have success without college! Mom didn't graduate college either! I'll just find some rich and hot politicians son, to impregnate me, when it's time for college!"

Touché.

I had a hard time not laugh out loud. Lilly always knew how to drive him nuts. But instead of tapping her shoulder and congratulating her on the victory, like I wanted to, I put on my strict Mom-face.

Before I could say anything in my Mom-voice, Zach turned to her with a red face: "If you even think about having sex before graduating college I'll disown you!"

"But why? You did it before marriage. Obviously."

"Daddy what is sex?", Michael asked innocently.

Lilly laughed out loud, turned around and disappeared in the living room.

"Something you won't have before you're graduated college!", I told him, when he gave me a questioning glance, and gave him a little push so he would walk towards the front door.

I kissed Zach on the cheek: "I think it's time for you to go!"

After they had left I joined Lilly in the living room, who had just put on a CD.

"Do you have to provoke your father like that, all the time?"

"Mom, please! Don't try to play strict now! I saw the look on your face!"

I bit my lip and stayed quiet. We just sat there and listened to, what was, according to Lilly, _the _song plainly.

"Summer!", I shrieked when Taylor came running into our living room.

"Hasn't the invention of the doorbell reached your hole, Taylor?", Lilly smiled.

"Oh shut up midget! Why don't you go play on the highway, while adults talk?", Taylor told her.

Although it didn't sound that way, the two got along very well. After all Taylor was my best friend for almost eight years now, since Marissa had ruined our friendship - and Lilly saw me as one of her best friends.

"I can't help I inherited Mom's gnome size!"

"I don't have gnome size! I'm small but mighty!", I told her and crossed my arms.

"Sure! Whatever!", she held up her hands in defense.

I hit her slightly on the shoulder: "Shut up!"

She hit back: "You shut up!"

Taylor slapped both of our arms at the same time: "You both will shut up! And wait what I have to tell you about Marissa Cooper!"

"What is there to know about that wino?", Lilly asked.

"She's leaving her husband..."

"For the, what... 20th time?", I rolled my eyes.

"27th... but that's not the point. It's for real this time. She already moved out into some architects, he was originally supposed to redo her holiday home, apartment. Can you imagine that she just left her kids back with there father? Anyway, Luke filled for divorce and she seems to have found, I quote 'the love of her life!'"

"I'll give them two weeks. I mean we all know Ms. Cooper-Ward", I got up to get myself another cup of coffee.

"Cooper."

"What?"

"Not Cooper-Ward. Just Cooper. She already had it changed!", Taylor informed us.

"If you tell me know that she gave up booze I'll eat my hat!"

"You don't wear hats!", Lilly threw in.

"Well then you better get one, cause according to what my source told me they're already planning their wedding. You should get the invitation pretty soon."

"Yeah cuz Marissa would me invite to her wedding... what source anyway?"

"I'm not authorized to tell you that."

"Well then what are you still doing here? You spread the gossip", Lilly wanted to know.

"In fact, I have to leave now. Not that I go now, just because you tell me to..."

"Why is she still here?", I turned to Lilly. Taylor-bashing was one of our favorite activities.

Seth's POV

"You can't marry that woman!", I blurred.

"And why is that?"

"Because she is a fucking drunk!"

"She is sec. What's your point?"

"You have no idea how sick she really is!" That had to make him change his mind.

"But you do?"

"Yes."

"Good argument, really."

"What she needs is rehab and a shrink. Not a fucking engagement ring!"

"What are you really worried about?"

"Wha... I... What? I'm worried about you! And if you wanna say that this has anything to do with your fiancé is Summers former best friend, you're wrong. You couldn't be more wrong. This has nothing to do with my fear of Summer finding out that I settled down and live only one hour away from her... In fact I didn't even think about her, before you just mentioned her!"

"I didn't say a word about her. That was you!"

"Are you trying to twist my words now? You asked me if I was worried about meeting Summer and ruining her life once again!"

"If you say so, bro!", Ryan tapped my shoulder and shook his head. Continuing the work on his laptop.

I sighted, leaned back and decided to be the strong silent type from now on. Of course I knew that this wouldn't last to long.

"Why would you even suggest Summer? I mean her and Marissa aren't even friends anymore... which I think is another good sign for you not to marry her... oh my god... what am I going to do? You two will have a big Newpsie wedding won't you?"

Ryan wanted to start to continue but I cut him off before he could even open his mouth: "Of course you will. Mom won't you let get out of that one... and that means half of Newport is going to be there... ergo: Summer and her family are going to be there..."

"I think I might choose another favorite season...", Ryan told me.

"What is that supposed to mean?", I put my hands to my hips and looked – well I tried – to look at him challenging. Then I realized that the whole hands to hips thing, made me look kind of gay, and I undid it.

"Don't you have to be anywhere?"

I took a look onto my watch: "In fact I do. But I'm 45 minutes late already anyway."

"Well, you might still be on time!", with that Ryan grabbed me on my shoulders and pushed me out the door.

Summers POV

"Mom...", Lilly did the puppy eyes again.

"Don't even think suggesting if I let you have the rest of the day off too! Out. Now."

"What's with the 'I'm a strict mom' thing?", she screwed her mouth and didn't show the slightest inclination to leave the car.

"You want me to call your Dad? Cuz I'll do it!"

"Yeah sure... then you would get a preach about letting me ditch..."

I pulled out my cell: "Try me. After all I'm the one who can make it up with sex."

"Ew! Okay I'm going!", she had left the car and entered school, before I could even say "Bye".

After all I had to admit, Taylor was right. The over share really worked like a charm.

So now I had finally time for myself. And I knew exactly what I would do with it.

One hour later I arrived at a little art gallery . I'd read about an art exposition in the newspaper. Yeah that's right. I did read something else than _InTouch _and _People_. Although, reading the sad depressing news everyday, kind of remembered me why I preferred the other two.

And, just to set that straight too: I hadn't become an art expert. There was only one reason, why I did go into that exposition, where people looked at me like I was some kind of alien just because I wore clothes that were made by designers and not 100 out of waste paper. And that one was named Seth Cohen.

In the last eight years it had been my passion to collect everything he painted or ever did paint. Without his knowledge I was probably his best customer. And his greatest admirer, although he probably knew that. Each of his pieces was some kind of message to me. His way of telling me that he was sorry for leaving, without a real goodbye. Or at least I thought so. I just wished I could tell him that I forgave him a long time ago. Around the time I had made my peace with everything.

"_Summer, I know this is hard. But we have to go on in some way!", Zach said._

"_You don't know a shit! It's like a part of myself died! So don't even try to tell me that you feel as much grieve as I do!"_

"_Summer, you didn't leave this room for two months. I just want you to remember Lilly and Michael. _

_They need their Mommy . And I need you."_

"_Why? Is an election coming up?", I turned my back to him._

"_Don't try to act like you have the whole pain of the world on your shoulders. Things could be worse."_

"_Fuck you, Zach!", I got out of bed, threw a jacket over, and stormed downstairs. _

"_Summer, wait!", he came after me, but I was already outside and in my car. _

_I guess at the time he came out of the house all he saw were the back lights of my car. I think I drove around for hours until I found myself at the pier. I stood and my hands clasped around the rails so tight until my fingers turned white. _

_I felt empty inside. Only one week ago, I had been full of so much hope and joy. And now everything seemed senseless. The sound of the ocean, the warm breeze ... all the things I used to love so much were now like a painful reminder. Even, or maybe especially Lilly and Michael._

_For a second I thought about jumping. But that was really just a second. When I buried my hands inside of my pockets I was surprised to find the dummy, I three months ago. My heart felt like breaking._

"_Summer." A soft voice reached my ears. "Please come home. The kids have been asking for you."_

_Zach looked sad and helpless like a little boy, when he stood there in his pj's and coat. _

_I don't think I ever felt more for him but then. He reached out his hand for me. I turned to the ocean again. I squeezed the comforter before letting it fall into the water. _

_Afterwards I took a deep breathe. Although it was only a symbolic gesture, I felt like a huge weight had been taken of my shoulders. I still would miss my baby. And the grieve would probably never go away completely. But for the first time in two months I actually felt alive again. _

_I took the reached out hand and cried for three hours in my husbands arms._

"You like it?", I jerked around to find the employee standing behind me, smiling.

"I think Seth Cohen is an extraordinary artist."

"Yes absolutely", she agreed, and it even sounded honest. "It's called 'Summer Breeze'."

The last two words brought a smile onto my lips. Those were his messages to me: "You've got anything else he did?"

She shook her head: "No, I'm sorry.

"Well, all right. How much is this one?"

"This is not for sale. I'm sorry."

I screwed my mouth. Great!

"Listen--" I looked onto her name tag. "Anna, isn't there any possibility to change that... money shouldn't be a problem here..."

"I'm sorry, Ms. --"

"Mrs. Stevens-Roberts."

"I'm really sorry, Mrs. Stevens-Roberts. But Mr. Cohen only gave it out for this exposition. It's a private piece of his."

I sighted. Seemed like it shouldn't be.

I was in such a bad mood by the time I got into my car and started driving, I didn't even notice the Audi, that came from the right. I'd already driven around the curve when I heard breaks squeal and angry honking. I sighted and looked into the rear-view mirror. The car seemed okay. So I just drove away.

Seth's POV

"What a bitch!", I muttered when I went into the gallery.

"What's up with you?", my ex-wife looked at me smiling. As always she was very happy when I was in a bad mood.

"That bitch with the beamer almost crashed into me."

"Well that bitch seemed to be a fan of yours", Anna told me. "She wanted to buy 'Summer Breeze'."

"But you didn't sell it, did you?"

"Was I not supposed to?", she asked bluntly.

I think my mouth fell down to my chest but when she saw the expression on my face she started laughing.

"Ha ha ha... You're so funny, Anna", my laugh was supposed to sound ironic but it came out pretty creepy.

"I know I'm funny. Although you're not. But you are really on time today."

"Hey! My brothers wants to marry the best customer of Betty Ford Clinic."

"He proposed to her?", her face told me that the idea didn't make her fall into tears of joy either.

"Yep. The silent brooder and the drunken drama queen are hitting the altar. God, I hope they won't have kids... Imagine that mixture!"

"I'd rather not!", she braced onto some sculpture that looked like a three thousand dollar piece. "So tell me, my beloved ex-husband. What else is new?"

"I live a boring life. So... nothing."

"You're boring. I know that. I meant what's new in your family. How are Sandy and Kirsten?"

Before I could answer she turned to a person behind me: "Did you forget something?"

I twisted around and, even though it's impossible anatomically, my heart slipped into my stomach.

_**Yesterday  
All my troubles seemed so far away  
Now it looks as though they're here to stay  
Oh, I believe  
In yesterday**_

There she was... after all those years.

Summer.

"Seth..."

_To be continued_

**A/N: **_Mean cliffhanger? Yes I know. But look at it this way: I could have gone on for five more chapters before they meet... What did you think? Good? Bad? Worst? Best? You all know I'm open for criticism. _

_REVIEWS PLEASE! MANY OF THEM!_

_**MANY** REVIEWS **HAPPY** AUTHOR **FAST** UPDATE ;)_


	2. Picture

**A/N: **_Thank you so much for all the great reviews! It was like far over my expectations! Thank you so much, you guys! I hope you'll enjoy this chapter too!_

_Love ya all! Chris_

**Chapter 2: Picture**

Summers POV

"So...", I sat together with Seth in the small employee kitchen of the gallery.

"So... ", he repeated.

This was the most awkward situation ever. In my head I'd imagined our reunion like a hundred times and this didn't even came close to it. He wasn't a big gangster who kidnapped me, so we could live together on his own island... What? ... A girl can dream right?

"This shouldn't be that strange...", he said.

"No it shouldn't..." I didn't even look up from my coffee cup which I stirred in with excitement.

"Yeah but I mean what did we expect... hot sex on the kitchen table?", he tried to laugh but it sounded more creepy then anything else.

I on the other hand immediately in my stomach. Sex on the table? That came close to what I had expected.

Slowly I looked up from my cup to look at him. All of this years the only thing I had was a tiny picture I had ripped out of an art magazine and my memory of course. He had aged. But in a good way. He looked grown up. Back then he seemed like a teenage boy, even if he was twenty seven at the time.

And he had grown a beard too. Not a full beard, a small well-shaved-one around his lips to his chin. It made me wanna jump him right there, even more. When our eyes met I knew that he thought about the exact same thing.

_Why not wipe those damn coffee cups of the table and do it right here? _

I tried not to laugh when he breathed out soundly.

"So how have you been?", I wanted to know.

"Good. Yeah...the paintings sell good..."

"I know", I smiled shyly. "I own all of them..."

"Wow.. that is... wow... I never showed any interests in who my customers were... maybe I should've..."

"Yeah you should've..." I flirted back. And that wasn't flirting which I felt guilty after. I was beyond guilty. This just felt right.

He reached over to take my hand in his: "So how have you been? Still married?"

I just nodded silently. My brain had stopped working at the time he had touched me.

"And your kids? You got more?"

I pulled my hand away immediately and shook my head: "No. Just the two."

"Kind of sad. I hoped if we met again I'd see a little guy who looked just like me... you know the "guy comes back after years figures out he had a kid all along" story."

I shook my head quickly: "No, none of that. Sorry."

Within three minutes he had managed to found my most sore point. I wanted to cry.

"I'm sorry but I gotta go!", I stood up quickly.

"Summer is everything allright? You look a little pale?", he stood up and put his hands on my waist. I knew I could've easily escaped from his arms but I didn't wanted to.

I wanted to drown in this warm brown worried eyes, they made me so comfortable. Made me forgot all of the sad thoughts. Our eyes had locked before we even realized it. I felt helpless again.

"Would you mind, if I'd kiss you now?", he pulled me a little bit closer.

My heart stopped. Would I mind? Fuck, of course not!

Then the door opened. Anna.

"Sorry to interrupt. Summer you forgot your purse in front", she hands me my purse. "And your cell has been ringing for the last ten minutes..."

My blood pressure was up to 180 at least, and my heart raced like I just ran for the Olympics.

I took a deep breathe and started to look for my cell phone.

"Yes!", I must have sounded pretty angry when I answered, but that didn't matter to me right now. Whoever called stopped me and Seth from kissing. I listend to what the woman had to say.

"You gotta be kidding me!" I couldn't believe my ears. Anna and Seth looked at me worried. "I'll be right there." _In an hour or so..._

I hung up: "Sorry I have to go. Just call me, okay?"

I grabbed my jacket and purse before I turned around again: " Thanks for the coffee Anna!"

"You're welcome!", she called after me but I was already out the door.

That had been a nose graze! I would kick Lilly's spoiled little ass!

Seth's POV

"So that was the famous Summer...", Anna leaned back in her chair smiling, her big old favorite cup between her hands. It was a gift from me to her birthday when we were married. I couldn't decide if it was cute or creepy that she still had it.

"Don't you have to work or something?", I asked annoyed and couldn't care less that I sounded like a little boy.

"Lunch break. I've got a lot of time...", her smile grew wider, she seemed to get happier as longer this conversation went on.

"Yeah... so?"

"Well I know the head lines: Love of your life – which I always thought was me by the way, she's married, you had an affair a few years ago... cum on... give me details..."

"That's pretty much all you have to know. What do you want? Details of the sex?"

"Why not? I could use a little second hand erotic..."_ And people told me I was strange?_

I lifted one eyebrow. Well, I tried but in the end both were up again. I can really do that one eyebrow thing. But I wanted to since I met Ryan.

"We were married... don't you think that would be a little bit weird?"

"I can handle that. I'm a cool ex-wife!", she assured.

"Try to be the classical ex-wife once in a while..."

"Sorry honey... but that's just impossible. I can't be the classical ex-wife if we sleep together every other night."

"Right... I forgot", I smiled a little embarrassed.

"How could you!", she giggled.

"Well good thing we agreed that it's over!", I stated.

"Yeah. Absolutely." She let the slightly amused-way go when she saw my worried face. "Relax, Seth. I won't pull the jealous ex-wife/lover. I'm not in love with you... and you ... you clearly love Summer."

"Thanks Anna."

"What are ex-wifes for?"

I laughed a little bit. _Beside sex?_

She looked at me awaiting: "So?"

"So, what?", I knew exactly what she meant and that I wouldn't get out of that one, but that was my way of playing for time.

"The details. I'm still waiting."

"Yeah well, you better get used to that! Cuz I won't tell you anything."

"Allright."

"What? You're giving up? Just like that?" That was so unlike her.

"You never kept a secret from me... I guess if you won't tell me about this, it has got to be special..."

"It is. She is."

Summers POV

"You're in deep shit!", I told Lilly when I faced her sitting in front of the principals office.

"Mom, would you ...", she looked like she would start to cry any second.

"Don't Mom me! Get into the car", I don't think I ever was that pissed in my whole life.

"But Mom!"

"Car! Now!"

I knew she hated driving with me when I was pissed. Which teenager didn't? It meant being trapped. There was no way out. You had to listen to your crazy parents.

She already had taken her seat when I opened up the door. My reflection in the window had scared me for a second. When I sat, I slammed the door shut.

"What the hell were you thinking, Lilly?", I said surprisingly calm.

"I don't know... "

"Well they might suspend you... have you thought about how you wanna tell your father about that?"

"Do I have to tell him?", the usually so tough girl sunk deeper in her seat.

I gave her a glance.

"Will you tell him for me?"

"Nah! You made yourself that bed. Now lie in it."

"You're right. While I'm at it I could tell him about skipping school today..."

My mouth fell open. That little brat.

"That wasn't a threat, right?"

"No."

I laughed faked: "Good. Cuz you did never see me in rage. And I don't think you want to!"

She looked cautious at me: "Was that a threat?"

"You bet it was!", with that I pulled into our drive way.

Seth's POV

"Hey Ryan!", I entered his apartment cheery.

"What are you doing here?" He didn't seem so cheery, though.

"Thanks! It's so great to see you, too!", I ignored his bad mood.

"That door was locked!", he pointed at it and looked even angrier.

"No it wasn't", I answered quickly. I was in _trouble..._

"Yes it was. And you don't have a key." _Of course I have one... Then one I had copied when you asked me to water your plants ... _Oh yeah...Really big trouble.

"Hey Ryan. What's going on?" Enter Marissa Cooper.

I was seriously thinking if it was to late to jump out of the window. Even to hear her talking made me wanting to blow my brains out.

"Seth! Hi! So good to see you!", I got a peck on the left and right cheek. _Sec, yeah sure. Even a liquor store didn't smell like that!_

"Hi Marissa" I said as unenthusiastic as possible.

She didn't or didn't wanna seem to notice it and continued her way to the bathroom.

"So what is the big news that brought the stolen key into action?", Ryan asked.

"I met Summer today!", I told him and smiled like a Cheshire cat.

"Uh huh."

"Be a little more excited bro! It might work out this time!"

"Is she divorced this time?"

"Dude! Didn't you listen? I met Summer! Why do you have to spoil that?"

"I'm not spoiling anything! I just don't want you to be disappointed, that's all. According to Marissa, Zach and Summer are happy."

"Well if Marissa said that...", my voice was tripping of sarcasm.

"Seth.", he really sounded annoyed. _Well, how couldn't he be annoyed? He was engaged with Marissa Cooper._

"No, no... I'm serious. I'm sure Marissa knows everything about their marriage. She has so much insight into human nature!"

Now I was sure. Ryan wasn't annoyed. He was pissed. Even though he knew everything I said was true, he defended Marissa all the time. Must've been his weird "I'm a hero, I save helpless girls"-thing.

"Seth, either you stop insulting Marissa in her own home or you leave!"

"Her own home?", my voice got all squeaky at first but then I understood that it was best to back out. "Allright! I'm gone! See ya!"

Summer's POV

"Sex in the locker room? Have you lost your mind?"

I sat at the kitchen island, drank my tea, listend to the dressing-down Lilly just received from her father and wondered how long it would take till he threw her out of the house. I don't think I even had jumped in if he would have. I was way to wrapped up in my thoughts about meeting Seth.

What did it mean? _No idea. _Did it mean something at all? _Maybe._ Did I want it to mean something? _Ask me something that is easier._

"I actually feel like throwing you out!" Zach yelled.

_And there it was..._

"What did we just talk about this morning? You should know about the responsibility that comes along with sex! I don't wanna pick you up from 'Planned Parenthood' one day."

I heard her giggle. That girl just never knew when to stop with the provocations. And that's why I loved her so much.

"What's there funny about this?"

"Well, you should know that pregnancy requires a guy in the action", she said.

_Holy Shit! _I jumped of my seat and raced into the living room.

"What's that supposed to mean?", Zach asked angrily. He really didn't get it.

"I didn't have sex with a guy, dad."

All the sudden he was really calm. The shock, certainly.

Lilly turned to me: "I'm sorry you had to find out this way!"

"It's all right honey!" I embraced her, when I felt how much she had feared my refusal. "That doesn't change anything. Right Zach."

Zach still stood there in shock.

"No of course not. Well as long as you don't make this public... " _Not really the answer I'd expected._

_Neither had Lilly. _"And why shouldn't I? Cuz it would be bad for your career!", her fear was all gone, now the provocation was back.

"I'm going to bed!", Zach stated and was already out of the room.

"Oh Mom!", she sighted against my shoulder.

"He'll calm down... just give him some time", I patted her head.

She smiled uncertainly: "Thanks Mom! I think I'm going to bed, too." A faked yawn followed.

"Don't think the locker room thing is forgotten!" I called after her when she was already heading to the stairs.

"Whatever you say, Mom!"

Sighting I made my way to the bedroom. _What a day! _

Although I didn't know which one topped it. Seeing Seth again or having a gay daughter.

Zach already lay in bed and had his glasses on which made him look really intellectual - and attractive.

"If somebody told me kids were that much trouble, I'd never had any", he said without looking up from his book.

"But than you wouldn't have had the fun of making them...", I smiled seductively.

That was the moment when he got the broad hint I just gave him. He put his glasses and book aside and smiled back at me. I crawled into the bed and kissed him passionated...

Seth's POV

Anna had fallen asleep next to me quite a while ago. I on the other hand was wide awake. Summer didn't want to get out of my head. I kept on wondering what would've happened if she didn't have to leave. Some kitchen table action? Probably, yeah.

I took a look at Anna who slept peacefully. I felt bad. Kind of like I used her. What made me think that way? Because the only thing I thought about, while we were sleeping together, was Summer.

_**I thought about you for a long time **_

_**Can't seem to get you out of my mind **_

_**I can't understand why we living, **_

_**life this way.**_

I grabbed the painting of her, I'd done on Tahiti where I had sailed for soul searching after I had left her eight years ago. She was still as beautiful as she had been when I met her for the first time.

Sighting I put the picture back.

Summers POV

I rolled myself off him breathing heavily: "That was so great Seth!"

The second I said it I realized the wrong name. Zach didn't seem so, though. He had already fallen asleep next to me. In some weird way really amazing. We were finished, and there he was... dreaming like a baby.

I took the book that had laid on my nightstand for about ten years now. I never read a single page in it. It actually wasn't even a real book. I cut them out when I was a teenager to hide my cigarettes. Now I kept my most important properties in it. My mothers engagement ring she had given me the day she'd left. The ultrasound pictures of my and Seth's baby. His fare well letter. And the picture of him I had ripped out of a magazine.

_**I put your picture away**_

_**I wonder where you've been**_

_**I can't look at you while I'm lying**_

_**next to him**_

My fingers tenderly touched him on the picture. This had been my goodnight tradition since he had left. And as always I put the picture back into the book and placed it on the nightstand again. Only this time I felt something like hope...

TBC

**A/N: **_So? What did you think? Please honest reviews! And most important: Reviews at all! I already have three pages of the next chap written so if you review a lot, the update will come pretty fast this time! ;) Blackmail? No! Not at all! Just a little deal:)_

_Review button is down here! _


	3. Hungry Eyes

**A/N: **_ Allright... so I wondered: What would you guys prefer a personal reply to your review or a quick update... well no, I didn't really have to think about that! Lol_

_I'll make it quick! Thanks for all of your amazing reviews! They really inspire me! Keep them coming! Seriously: I fucking love them!_

**Chapter 3: Hungry Eyes**

Summers POV

Two weeks had past and I hadn't heard from Seth. While Taylor had the believe that a woman should never call a guy, because that seemed desperate. I however was really close to drive to that damn gallery and to buy off Anna so she would give me Seth's number.

"Mom! Would you just take a look at these boots! And 50 off! Come on I gotta have these!", she begged, basically attached to the store window, next to the café in which we sat.

"How much?", I asked concentrating on the jacket next to the boots.

Lilly muttered something not understandable.

"What?"

"299,99 $", Taylor cut in.

"_What?_", I shrieked after almost spitting out my coffee.

"Sorry midget. I guess that was a 'No'!", Taylor laughed.

"Pretty much yeah", I agreed.

"But Mooooom!", wailed.

"No! Aren't you to gay to wear such 'girly boots' anyway?

"Oh my God!", Taylor moaned. "Give me sun glasses and a wig!"

I gave her a questioning glance.

"Boozer on three o'clock!", she fluted.

"Oh... fuck me!", Lilly said.

"Lilly!"

"What?", Taylor looked at me. "She's right!"

"Hey Summer!", and there she was. Smiling brightly. "Taylor! Lil!"

"My name is Lilly!"

"Sorry. Of course: Lilly", Marissa apologized. "Oh Summer, have you met my fiancé Ryan? I don't think so, right? Summer this is Ryan Atwood. Ryan meet Summer Roberts-Stevens."

"The famous Summer!", he reached out his hand. "Hey! It's nice to meet you."

I was just about to ask why I was so famous when I saw the reason coming up behind the engaged couple. Seth Cohen.

He hadn't noticed me yet: "Marissa, I think we have been to every shoe-shop in whole South Coast Plaza! Can we go home now?"

"Seth! Look who I found!", the blonde woman said.

"Wow! Summer! Hey!", he grinned bright.

"Hi Seth!", I responded and smiled like an amorous teenager.

"Hey Seth!", Taylor greeted him. "I guess you don't remember me... I'm Taylor."

"Who could forget you, Taylor?", Seth somehow managed to take his eyes of me and look at Taylor.

"Yeah... that'd be impossible!", Marissa added sharp tongued.

"I'm sorry? Did you say something or order a drink...?"

Taylor and Marissa were best foes. Every time they were together in the same room a teasing started.

"Don't you have a charity event to organize? Maybe you can annoy the people there!"

"Aw Marissa! That's so cute!", Taylor smiled faked. "Waitress! Give that woman a vodka!"

While everybody else amused about the two women, I and Seth couldn't take our eyes of each other. This was different to the last time we'd met. Both of us had thought about what we wanted. And if I read his glances right all he wanted was me.

Well, I guess we should keep going...", Marissa said.

"Yeah you really should", Taylor agreed in a nice voice.

"The groom and his best man still need their tux'. Except you wanna come with us... I could use some help with my future husband."

"Why do you need help with him?", Seth asked. "He's whipped!"

"I am not whipped!", Ryan stated.

"Sure. If you say so bro!", he turned to us again. "So, what do you think? You ladys coming with us?"

"Maybe we'll join you guys later", I smiled and looked at him again. _Oh God... I so wanna jump you. And I don't give a shit if it's in the middle of South Coast Plaza._

Seth's POV

"Allright then... let's go!", my monster... sorry, sister in law – to be, said.

I threw a longing glance in Summers direction. Of course I understood why she couldn't come with us. I didn't even wanna be with Marissa. And I don't think that Ryan did. Who could blame her?

"Oh look Ryan! _Tiffany_! And we still haven't picked our wedding rings!", with that she had him dragged into the shop.

"Okay! I guess I won't be needed for that?" The couple had already entered the store so I turned to the three other ladys. "Would you mind if I sat with you until the two lovebirds return?"

"Not at all", Summer seemed more than happy.

"Thanks!", I sat down and ordered a coffee.

"So, Seth!", Taylor tried her best to do conversation, so Summers daughter wouldn't notice our eye contact. "What brings you back to Newport? We thought you'd left for good."

"Oh I thought so, too... but you never know where lives take you. Who could tell that my brother decided to redo Marissa Coopers apartment, start an affair, propose to her and drag me back here."

"You and him are brothers?", Lilly cut in. "No offense, but... well...you know"

"My parents adopted him when we were sixteen", I explained my Jewishness.

"Ah... allright!", Lilly made a face, as if I just had explained the sense of life to her.

"And what have you been up to, during those last, what was it six, seven years?"

"Eight years, four months, two weeks and five days...", I said and without taking my eyes of Summer.

"Wow... now that's what I call exact", Taylor could barley hide her amusement.

"Well, what have you been doing?", Summer asked. I could hear that she wanted answers in her question... wow... somebody wants answers and asks a question. That's unique.

"I was in Tahiti for about five months, for soul searching and stuff. Then I spend some time in Australia and New Zealand. I sailed to Europe, Africa. ... to cut the long story short: I sailed around the globe, stopped and stayed from time to time, until I got a job offer last year... in Los Angeles."

"You're back in California for over a year?", Summer asked. Maybe it was my special gift to make people hopping mad.

I nodded.

"Excuse me!", with that she jumped up and disappeared towards the ladies room.

I held up one hand: "I'll be right back."

She didn't seem to care about her daughter getting suspicious, so why should I.

"Summer wait!" I ran after her. In front of the ladies room I had caught up on her. We stood in the door frame facing each other.

"One fucking year, Cohen? You have to be kidding!" She was pissed. And she had every right to it. Still I tried to defend myself.

"Summer, please. You gotta understand me. I couldn't get in touch with you!"

"You couldn't! Are there suddenly no more phones in LA? Or no streets on which you could have driven here?" She put her hands onto my chest and shoved me back against the door frame. "Or were you just acting like the freaking coward that you are?"

She stood there her body presst against mine, so close that I could feel her breathe on my face. Making me want to pick her up and take her, right here against that wall.

"You have no idea, how bad I want to kiss you, right now!", she whispered, it was barley a breathe.

"Then you probably should!", I smiled and leaned in a little bit.

"Seth!", Ryan's voice came through the hallway.

"We should get a "Do not disturb"-sign!", I muttered and we fell apart.

"Hey Seth!", Ryan joined us. "Am I interrupting anything?"

"Always!", Summer answered instead of me.

"You don't know me. How could you tell?", Ryan wrinkled his forehead.

"Female intuition", she said.

"Right", he nodded sceptically before he turned to me. "Seth, Marissa wants to go."

"Why? We just got here half an hour ago!"

Ryan shrugged his shoulders and made a "I'm whipped"-face.

"Okay, you know what: No! It's bad enough you are being shoved around by her!"

"Seth!"

"No!", I crossed my arms, stubbornly.

"Listen Seth, I'm not mad if you go. We'll just meet some other time. ... Taylor's having a dinner party tonight. How about you come?"

"Sounds great but if you say it's a dinner party: Isn't Zach going to be there?" The last thing I wanted was to run into that perfect husband of hers.

"He'll be working late", she smiled. "So, will I see you there?"

I nodded:"Count me in!"

"Great!", she spon around. "So I'll see you then!"

"Yeah", I waved a little. "See you then."

"And you say I'm whipped?", Ryan asked.

"Shut up! She's so much hotter than Marissa."

I could see him looking after Summer, taking a look at her tanned legs which looked great in that skirt. He lifted one eyebrow: "She is hot."

"Obviously! But my question is: Is she hotter than Marissa?"

He shook his head: "Not going there, bro."

Summers POV

"My! Summer! I didn't realize you put on blush!", Taylor greeted me when I sat back down.

"What _do you think_ I went to toilet for?", I asked and shot her a sharp look.

"Right. Of course", she went all silent and took a sip of her coffee.

"How do you know that Mr. Cohen?", Lilly's eyes flashed curiously.

"We're old friends", I answered simply.

"And?", she looked at me expecting.

"And: None of your business!", I cut her off. "By the way: He'll come to you dinner party tonight, Taylor."

"Sure... thanks for asking if it was okay!"

"At least he'll come on choice. Not like the rest of us poor people who are dragged there!"

"Well... I guess an artist will be a win-win for our little round. Zach's coming too?"

Lilly laughed and made a sound that sounded like "Yeah sure!"

"He's working. Like always."

"Maybe he's having an affair", Taylor suggested.

"Yeah. But with his office that is. He's doing overtime, like all the time!"

"I think he wants to avoid me", Lilly threw in. "Well me and Sandra."

I looked up: "You think?"

"Well the overtime thing started when I came out to you guys."

"I think I'll talk to him tonight."

"Hey! I'm not saying I don't like the Dad not being home thing! In fact I enjoy it!"

I sighed. Apple and trees...

A few hours later after we'd come back from the mall I stood in front of the mirror, working on my outfit. This felt like a weird deja vú back to the night I'd invited him for dinner. I'd changed about five times. In the end it had been a red dress... _hey!_ That was it! Within a minute I had it found in my closet. Hadn't worn it for ... well ... ever since then.

I looked at myself in the mirror. The dress lapped around my curves perfectly. And it was the perfect contrast to my dark hair. The loops and the red lipstick sealed the deal. I looked--

"Wow! You look great!", Zach came up behind me and kissed my shoulder.

"You're home early!", I noticed. "What are you doing here?"

"Well tonight is this dinner-thing at Taylors, right? Just give me a minute! I'll be ready right away!"

"But you hate Taylors dinner party's!", I put my hands to my hips. "What did you say? 'All those people are so superficial. I don't have anything in common with them?' What's going on, Zach?"

He stood behind me and hugged me: "I know I haven't been the perfect husband lately... I wanna make that up to you! Even if I have to spend the evening with a lot of Newpsies..."

I realized that there was no way for me out there. I had to put my Seth plans on ice.

"Allright!", I forced a smile. "Then you better get ready!"

Seth's POV

I stood in front of, what people told me was, Taylors house. When Summer invited me she somehow forgot to tell me the address or a specific time. In my sweaty hands I held a bottle of what was, according to my mother, the best Chardonnay ever.

There were no cars in the driveway yet. So I figured I was early. Because of my lacking, exact appearance time I'd just decided to show up at 7.30. The usual dinner times where seven or eight a clock. So I had chosen half way.

"Seth!", Taylor opened the door before I had even knocked. "Great to see you!"

Before I could even response something she'd dragged me in, thanked me for the wine, put my coat into some room, placed me in the living room, handed me a drink and told me the life story of everyone who was going to be there, that night.

"So your excited?", Taylor winked at me.

Since I had already become used to listening and nodding it took me a moment to respond to her question.

"Wha-- I-- ...Excited about what?"

"Duh! About Summer!", she answered.

"Well sure... somehow..."

"We've got a lot empty bedrooms upstairs, just in case you wanna _talk_", she winked once again.

I already wanted to ask her if she had placed cameras in those rooms, which I thought she was capable of, when the doorbell rang.

"Summer!", she greeted her friend excited, before her voice got all squeaky. "And Zach! Hey!"

I almost fell off the couch. Zach? Summer had said he wouldn't come. What the hell?

"Why don't you too come in!", she guided them to the living room. "Zach meet Seth Cohen. He's a very successful artist. I'm sure you've heard of him."

Zach reached out his hand and showed a big tooth paste smile: "How could I not? My wife wallpapers our living room with your paintings. Zach Stevens. Nice too meet you."

I shook his hand: "Hi. Nice to meet you." _In fact, we've meet before you arrogant bastard..._

"And I guess I don't have to introduce Summer!"

"Hey", she smiled apologizing.

"Hey", I responded, accepting her silent apology.

Taylor looked at the three of us. "I'll go and get you two a drink."

"No, thank you! I'll just have a glass of water. I have to drive", Zach rejected.

"You can have one drink!", Summer rolled her eyes. "Give him a glass of Chardonnay, Taylor!"

"No, water is fine! Really!", Zach smiled at Taylor.

While Summer continued discussing with Zach and Taylor had disappeared in the bar, I used the time to study Summer. I'd recognized the dress within seconds. It was the one she had worn on our first date, the night when we had loved each other for the very first time.

It seemed like she could feel my looks on her body, cos she, while continuing the almost-fight with Zach, threw me killing looks - but that in a good way, a really good way! Her eyes screamed "Take me now!" out loud.

My heart stopped when stood up and came towards me. And just like that she sat on my lap and kissed me dearly. To say it felt great, would have been an understatement. We didn't care about anything else. It was like there were just the two of us in this world. Everything around us disappeared. My hands reached the zipper of her dress without letting go of her lips.

Her small body fitted perfectly to mine. Kind of like a puzzle. Our body's just matched. My hands and lips explored the hot, soft skin.

"France is great!" Summer said all the sudden.

"Have you ever been to France, Seth?", Taylor asked.

Holy shit. That daydream had seemed real. Extremely real. Summer grinned at me, like she just had had the same thing going on in her head.

"Seth? Everything allright?", Taylor had a smile that made me think that I shared my head cinema with everyone in the room. There were about another three couples in the room all the sudden.

"Sorry... I was kind of lost in my thoughts. Yes... On my sailing trips I have on the frech coast as well. Beautiful. Really. But of course nothing can beat Newport." That had been a lie. But exactly the thing those Newpsies wanted to hear.

I earned bright smiles in the whole room, so I decided to tell some of my adventures, mostly to distract myself from Summer. After ten minutes I was the star in the room.

The distraction methode worked like a charme. That was until we took our seats for dinner and Summer was placed across from me. When I had just started a small talk with Dr. famous sport surgeon and Mrs. Dr. famous sport surgeon, I felt something crawling up my leg. Pressing my lips together to hold a cry of dismay, then I saw the amused look on Summers face.

She had got rid of her shoe and stroked with her feet up my leg. I had a hard time to act normal when she had reached my crotch. At the same time she managed to do the perfect conversation.

"You're the devil!", I mouthed towards her and only got a wide smirk.

Summers POV

"Taylor, can I help you with cleaning up?", Seth offered.

"Aw! That would be great!", Taylor answered. "Thank you!"

"You know what!", I cut in. "You stay here, entertain your guests. I'll help him!"

"Thanks really!" Taylor knew exactly that "entertain your guests" meant "keep Zach out of the kitchen". And so she took my seat and started to talk to him about some charity events she had in mind.

I closed the door that lead to the living room and leaned against it, smiling at Seth.

"That feet-thing was evil!", he told me, stepping towards me.

"Admit it: You loved it!", I said.

"I never said I didn't!", without another word he had trapped me between himself and the door and kissed me passionated. I buried my hands in his thick curly hair, to pull him closer.

"I love you!", I muttered while he kissed down my neck shoving the straps of the dress aside. "I love you, I love you, I love you!"

"I love you too", he answered and his lips found mine again.

_**I've got hungry eyes  
One look at you and I can't disguise  
I've got hungry eyes  
I feel the magic between you and I  
I've got hungry eyes  
Now I've got you in my sights  
With those hungry eyes  
Now did I take you by surprise  
With my hungry eyes  
I need...  
Hungry eyes  
Now I've got you in my sights  
With my hungry eyes**_

We continued making out vehement until we had to part out of oxygen deficit. I leaned back against the wall and breathed heavily. His body was still pressed against mine.

"This dress is evil! I really shouldn't wear it anymore...", I laughed.

"I agree", he smiled and reached for my zipper.

"I think Taylors kitchen really isn't appropriate...", I stopped him.

"She offered me a bedroom before!", Seth told me.

"Don't you think it might be a little obvious if we disappear in here and don't get any work done."

"You're right", with that he let go of me and both of us turned to the dishwasher.

And right on time how it exposed. Holly entered the kitchen with a worried Taylor right behind her. She seemed to be a little bit disappointed that she didn't catch us, doing anything forbidden. I was sure she could tell that my lipstick was all over my face but that was no prove at all... and the lipstick in his face? _My opinion is solid – don't confuse me with facts!_

"Holly? Are you coming to help us? That's so kind!", with that I gave her a bunch of dirty plates.

Seth and I shared a smile together with another deep glance.

**A/N: **_ So! Yeah, that's it for today. Just a 'so!' I just delivered eight pages of creativity! It's your turn now!_


	4. Mamma Mia!

**Chapter 4: Mamma Mia!**

Summers POV

The next morning I woke up with a bright smile on my face. The dinner at party had been great. Taylor had managed to keep me and Seth off Zach's radar. This way Seth and I could backtrack outside were we sat for a long time. We didn't even talk that much, we just sat there in silence and enjoyed each others closeness.

Even Zach was amazed about my good mood when we drove home. As always he had wanted to go home early, that was also the reason why he didn't go to party's like that, and had expected that I would be pissed. But I was all harmonious.

"Good morning!", I singsong when I arrived in the kitchen this morning.

Lilly and Michael shared a glance. I wasn't exactly what you call a morning person. I and good mood in the morning happened only every other decade.

"Who are you and what have you done to my mother?", she eventually asked.

I shrugged: "As long as I keep paying your stuff you shouldn't complain about the alien brain inside of me."

"Mom's got a point!", Michael said, while he was climbing up the worktop to reach the cupboard with the cookies.

When he was almost there I lifted him down: "Don't think the alien inside of me is allowing you cookies in the morning!"

"But Mom!"

"Nah! Tonight, allright?"

"Mommy!", he pleaded his lower lip. "Please!"

I rolled my eyes and handed him the cookie: "Here. And now get ready for school!"

"Only one?", he asked slightly disappointed.

When I opened my mouth to say something, he already added a "Just kidding! Thanks!"

"You're spoiling him!", Lilly told me when I turned back into her direction to get some coffee.

"You used to ate fives cookies before school!", I told her. "It's only your good DNA that stopped you from getting fat."

"Whatev!", she took a bite of her bagle. "So what was at that dinner party yesterday that brings you into such a good mood."

"Nothing. I just slept well", I told her while smirking brightly, cos last night replayed in my head.

"It's that artist-guy isn't it? What's it about him?", her eyes blinked curiously. "Were you guys high school sweethearts or something like that?"

"Well", I stepped close to her. "Can you keep a secret?"

She nodded excited.

"Good. Cos so can I!"

With a smile I saw her mouth dropping.

All I heard when I stepped back into my bedroom was a long-drawn-out "But Mooooom!"

On the stairs I met Michael who smiled brightly: "So she didn't get a second cookie neither, huh?"

Seth's POV

"Good morning beloved parents!", I greeted my parents. My father got a hug and my mother a kiss on each cheek.

"Who are you and what have you done to our son?", Kirsten asked laughing.

"Can't I be in a good mood?"

"Of course you can!", my father answered. "But being in good mood _and_ visiting us: that is really extraordinary!"

"Whatever! At least now we can have a nice family breakfast. Marissa and Ryan are just on their way", Mom explained.

"You know how to ruin a mood, don't you Mom?"

"What are mothers for?", she smiled. "But if it cheers you up, I'm cooking."

"Yeah... sure!", I muttered so nobody besides my father could hear it.

We walked towards the kitchen where I sat down on the big kitchen table.

"So? Aren't you gonna tell us the reason for your good mood?", my father asked.

"Nope!", I answered simple.

"Well then you won't get anything of my freshly made pancakes", she declared.

"You really think that is going to convince him, honey?", Sandy asked, taking a look at her "pancakes".

Mom gave him a look, the same look she thought that he should back her up in something, mostly parenting.

"Hey Seth, why don't you bring Anna over anymore? I haven't seen her in a lifetime", my father asked, ignoring her.

"That is because we're divorced, father. We've been ... for many years."

"Yeah but you guys seemed to get closer again, lately", Mom cut in. "I thinks it's about time you settle down and maybe give me a grandchild!"

"And that, with Anna?", I asked, wondering about my mothers sudden with for grandchildren. She had never been much of the Granny-type.

"Why not? You've known her for many years and she's a great woman!", my father answered.

"What's wrong with you guys? Who gave you the 'We want our son to marry and have a family'-drug?"

"Well seeing Ryan with Marissa makes me wishing you would find a relationship like that too", my mother said and my father agreed nodding

"You want me to find a girlfriend like Marissa? Allright, whatever you guys on: Take less!"

"Sethy!" Speaking of the devil. Marissa Cooper life sized.

I smiled friendly at her: "Do never... and I mean never, call me Sethy again!"

"But 'Sethy' is cute!", Ryan appeared behind her.

I closed my eyes and raised my hand: "Don't say cute Ryan!"

"But you are such a cutie!", Marissa laughed pinching my cheek.

I shoved her hand of me: "Don't touch me! What is going on with you guys?"

"What _is _going on with us? Honey?", Dad turned my mother.

"Don't you guys have to work?", I asked annoyed. "I thought I'm the artist here! You guys supposed to be all stressed out from work. Aside from Marissa of course!"

"Hate to admit it, but he's right. Sandy, come on let's go!"

The three of us got a kiss on the cheek from mom before her and Dad bailed.

"Is it me or are these two getting weirder?", I asked the couple in front of me, who were all in each others pants again.

"I talked to Holly this morning...", Marissa said all the sudden. "She told me about your dinner party last night..." Her smirk got wider.

"Yeah... what is there to tell?", I asked, knowing exactly what she was talking about. But after all Summer was still married. And as far as this didn't change nobody needed to know about us.

"Come on Sethy...", she pinched my cheek. "Am I hearing wedding bells?

When she wanted to repeat the process on my other cheek I stopped her by holding her wrist: "Don't ... and I mean it! ... don't ever touch me again, or you might not hear your own!"

She immediately took a few steps back to hide behind Ryan. (Wow! Was I really that frighting?) Who actually came a few steps closer.

"Did you just threat her?", he asked, what made me taking a few steps back for my part.

"Why would you think that?", I smiled, showing my full respect for him. "I'm just worried about Summers reputation, that's all. Really."

"Listen--", before Ryan could really start, the sound of an incoming text message saved me.

I looked apologizing at the couple before I reached for my cell. Summer.

_I want you naked in my poolhouse in 15 minutes!_

_Summer_

_P.S. Love you like a fat kid cake!_

"Gotta go!", I grabbed my keys and basically ran out the front door, leaving a confused couple behind.

Summers POV

I wandered from one window to the next. And that had a two reasons. One: I was expecting Seth to be here any minute. I hadn't felt that way since my first date in highschool. Not only was I jumpy. Oh no. I was tremedously horny.

But there was yet another reason that kept me on the window. My dear husband had forgot his folder. Something I had discovered after I had invited Seth. The good wife I used to be would have sat in her car and brought him the file to his office. However the good wife wasn't expecting her lover for a hot get-togehter either.

"Oh that's just fantastic!"

Two cars pulled up my driveway. The first one contained my husband. And in the second one there were dark curls. Of course.

I ran to the door. I had to foreclose any big conversation between the two.

"Honey! Hey! Did you forget something? I thought you'd be at work by now! You remember Mr. Cohen, don't you? The artist? I wanted to talk to him about maybe a drawn picture inside of the poolhouse. We've said for years that it looked boring! And after all, you know how great Mr. Cohen is...", I think I kept on talking for at least five minutes.

Behind Zachs back Seth was trying to stop me with a lot of gestures. I realised that I risked my neck with sensless talk. But I couldn't stop it. Word vomit, like Lindsay Lohan would say.

Although my husband didn't seem to notice. He just walked to his office – babbling me behind him – grabbed the file and walked back to his car.

"You spent way to much time with Taylor!" He told me with a peck on the lips before he got into his car again. "Nice to see you again Seth!"

With those words he drove of and I sank back against the door.

"God, you're a bad liar!", Seth came to me with a big smile.

He pulled me inside and closed the door behind us.

"You know, you can't tell to many details or the other person will know you're lying..."

I looked at him from top to bottom: "Why aren't you naked yet?"

He grinned an placed a soft, tender kiss on my mound. I slung my arms around his neck when I felt his tounge slowly parting my lips. His hands started to wander grabbing my ass and pulling me closer at the same time.

With my butt in his hands he suddenly stopped the kissing and looked at me: "Have you gained weight?"

"Should I slap you before we do it or wait till after?"

"For all I care you can slap me during!", he told me and went back to smother me with kisses. His hands had reached my breasts by now, shoving the airy dress of them. Lowering his head he started to kiss his way down my neck.

_Mamma mia, here I go again  
My my, how can I resist you?  
Mamma mia, does it show again?  
My my, just how much I've missed you  
Yes, I've been brokenhearted  
Blue since the day we parted  
Why, why did I ever let you go?  
Mamma mia, now I really know,  
My my, I could never let you go._

I placed my hands on the side of his face forcing him to look at me: "Skip it!"

"What?"

"The foreplay! I've waited eight years. I couldn't be more ready!"

To be continued...


	5. The Name Of The Game

**AN: First of all thanks a lot for your reviews! They mean the world to me. **

**So here I give you the next Chapter! As I already explained to some of you, you'll find A LOT of Abba songs in upcoming chapters! Which is only fair seeing how the movie Mamma Mia inspired me to go on with writing at all! So to cut a long story short, here is the next chapter, I hope you enjoy it.**

**(And please be gentle with spelling mistakes – I'm a little out of shape...) **

**Chapter 5: The name of the game**

Summers POV

„Have you seen my left sock?" Seth stood in the middle of the room looking helplessly. „I've got an important meeting with a important client in half an hour! I can't show up there not wearing a sock!"

„What stuff you worry about! My sons school is having a pta meeting, where I have to be in half an hour, and I can't find my pantie!", I hopped around on one heel searching for the rest of my clothes.

When I finally found my shoe behind a chair, I stopped for a second and looked at him: „You have clients and go on meetings?"

„Traveling around the world, trying to forget you was expensive!"

„I spent a fortune for your paintings, you can't be that underprivileged!"

„It's all prophylactic. I figured you wouldn't pay for my painting anymore now."

„Not with money at least." I sat down on his lap and kissed him lovesome.

„In that case I can accept being poor", while we were still kissing I felt his hand making its way up my leg.

His fingertips traveled their way up and down my inner thigh. Suddenly I was thankful I hadn't found my thong yet.

„Who says I'd still want you poor?" I teased.

Then I could feel his had reached my clit. My head fell back onto his shoulder. My whole body seemed to be electrified. He knew exactly what I wanted. Slowly his fingers began to drew small circles. He set a line of kisses from my neck to my shoulder. His other hand was stroking my breast tenderly.

„You don't mean that!", he said.

Even though I couldn't see his face I knew he was smiling. It was something about the way he inhaled differently.

„Oh yeah?", I was already breathing heavily, as his touches grew faster and that seemed to encouragehim. „I wanna keep my standard. How should a underprivilegedArtist ever be able to ... give me ... what I want."

My last words were barely a whisper. I was so close.

„You're probably right", with those words he pulled his hands away and straightened my skirt.

I felt like being slapped. Feeling still a little bit dizzy I looked at him.

„Are you freaking kidding me?", I almost yelled.

„Well I figured you're right. I hardly can't give you what you want. I can't give you what Zach has."

Damn! He knew how to make me feel guilty. Why couldn't I ever keep my big mouth shut? The last thing I had in mind was hurting him.

„I'm sorry Seth! I didn't mean to hurt you. You know I--"

He tried desperately to keep a serious look on his face. A moment later he couldn't hide his smile anymore.

„...You bastard!"

Before I could do anything else he had his hands back in my most sensitive spots. I squirmed under his touch. It only took a few seconds more before I climaxed. To volume down my moaning he pulled me into another hot kiss.

„You won't have to worry about being poor if you to _this_ with me once a day."

„With pleasure!", he kissed me once more.

I took a look at my watch and sighed. Yet again that late.

„I'm sorry but I really have to leave now." With all the self-control I had left, I got of his lap.

Seth stood up too and pulled me in a tight embrace: „Is it me or is parting getting harder every time."

„It's not just you", I gave him another peck on the lips. „Nonetheless I still have to go."

Grabbing my purse I made my way to the stairs that led to the upper deck. Almost off the boat I heard Seth calling after me. Rolling my eyes I went back to the bedroom.

„What?" I asked kind of annoyed standing in the door frame. „You know I love you. And I'll miss you. I thought it wouldn't be necessary to tell you that every time I'm going home. Or is it?"

„No it isn't!", he told me calmly.

„Then what?!" My voice hit the pitch of being desperate.

Smiling he pulled something red of the ceiling light and threw it at me: „I thought you might need this."

Stunned I looked at the red lace thong in my hand: „Thank you."

Passing by me he slapped my ass. „You're welcome."

Seth's POV

At night I returned to my empty boat. Since Summer and I had started seeing each other again I felt terribly lonesome whenever I was without her. A month had passed since Taylors dinner party and even though we met almost daily, I couldn't get enough of her.

I knew it was probably just my low self esteem but I still felt like it was easier on her. When she left, she could go home to a family. I was sitting around watching TV. Sometimes I went over to Ryan's, where I was sitting around and watching TV too. And making fun about Marissa till Ryan was close to throwing me out.

Sighing I grabbed a canwith Mac and Cheese and sat down on the couch. I wondered when Summer would finally about the big old „her being married"-matter. I hadn't brought it up yet because I was afraid of ruining anything between us and Summer didn't seem to bother at all. And if she did, the woman was damn good at hiding it. The next time I saw her, I would talk to her about it.

Buried in my thoughts I shrieked a little when there was a knock on the door. It was past 10:30. Who would show up that late? Summer? It wouldn't be her first nightly visit. But didn't she say something about a some dinner she had to appear with her husband today.

I opened the door finding Anna there.

„What are you doing here?" I asked hostile.

„Hey honey! It's good to see you, too", I got a peck on each cheek when she made her way past me into my living room.

„Yeah, yeah it's good to see you, but why are you here?", I looked down at the six pack Becks she had put into my hand. „Do we have plans?"

„Yeah", she had already opened a bottle and made herself comfortable on my favorite spot on the couch. „You haven't called me in over three weeks. I just wanted to see if everything was okay."

Unwillingly I made a sound like a cat you step on.

„Oh Sethy!", she made a pity full face and mademe to sit down next to her. „Tell Anna what's the matter."

I leaned back: „Okay so imagine you're in love and sleeping with that beautiful, beautiful woman..."

She nodded with a fake serious face: „Been there."

„... I so wanna hear more about that later ... but back to my issues with Summer... I mean, we know we love each other, but why isn't she leaving Zach? She says their marriage is just on paper. Then why not end it?"

„I guess it's not all that easy, Seth. They have kids... That is a big responsibility... And it connects. Even if you're not in love. You just need to be patient."

„I am. Really. But what if all the sudden she realizes he is the one, not me."

„Good god you're self conscious!", Anna emptied the bottle and opened the next one. Seemed like, listening to me pitying myself turned her into a alcoholic.

„I'm serious. Just the thought that she might still be sleeping with him is killing me."

„Is she?"

I shrugged: „I have no idea. Probably. After all he is her husband."

„Have you ever talked to her about it?", Anna wanted to know. „Told her about you're feelings?"

„Share those doubts I have with her and make myself vulnerable? Are you crazy? Do you think I don't know anything about woman?"

She just looked at me with sorrow and handed me a bottle of beer.

Summer POV

Bored I sat there, listening to my husband discuss about political relations with some old guys I didn't know. The eating part of the evening was over and now the „business" started. And for that I had spend two hours with styling myself. Zack probably wouldn't even take notice of me if I was wearing a clown-costume.

But even if he did care to involve me in the conversation ... I had become good in doing small talk about politics, when it came to more detailed substance I preferred staying back. Which didn't mean I was dull or something. I just saw some things more liberate than most of those other guys, even my own husband, did.

And as my beloved mother in law had told me a few years ago: My business at gala dinners like that wasn't discussing. It was representating how good our family life was. So that's what I did. Covering myboredomup with a charming smile.

God I missed Seth. Maybe I could squeeze in a late night visit on his boat after Zach had fallen asleep. Luckily for me, once Zach had fallen asleep there was no way he'd wake up before he hadn't had his appropriate seven and a half hours of sleep. It had actually happened once or twice that I had been back in my marital bed just in time for the alarm clock to go off.

I smiled when Zach put his hand on mine and leaned in: „You look tired. Do you wanna go home?"

„That would be great."

He nodded and gave me a quick kiss: „Let me just say goodbye to Mr. Duncan."

As I watched him walk away I couldn't help but think about how my life would change if I'd really leave him. Even though Seth didn't say it, I knew he was expecting me to talk with my husband. I had no doubts about my love to Cohen. But divorcing your husband wasn't something you just do between brunch and getting your nails done.

Zach was familiar to me. He gave me some kind of security. Sure, Seth was probably the big love of my life, but was that really enough? Were those few days we had back then and those last weeks now enough to make it work? If one was honest we barley knew each other. And sometimes when I was with him I felt like I had known him all my life.

„Okay, we can leave", Zach put his arm around my hip as we made our way to the car.

We had been driving for about ten minutes and I was almost asleep in my seat when Zach suddenly started talking.

„Hey, have you thought of anything you wanna do for our wedding anniversary next week?"

_Holy shit! Next week already?_

"No, nothing yet", I told him. _Cheating on you probably doesn't count as appropriate anniversary activity..._

"Well, if there's anything special you wanna do, just tell me. It's been 15 years after all." Zach pulled into the driveway and we got out of the car.

"Yeah, a long time", I smiled.

"And a good time", he hugged me and gave me soft kiss.

"Yeah."

Seth's POV

I woke up from a kiss. Trying to get over the "Sleeping Beauty" feeling I rubbed my eyes to find Summer standing in front of me. Anna was still asleep against my shoulder.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"I kind of was in the mood for a late night visit", she told me.

"I'm glad."

"How late is it?", I asked.

"2:30"

"You took you're time today, didn't you..."

She shrugged**.**

When Anna began to stir next to me, I gave Summer a sign to wait outside while I laid Anna down and covered her with a blanket.

"Should I be jealous cuz you're cuddling with you're ex-wife on the couch?", she grinned, but I could see there was a bit of real jealousy in her eyes.

"Does divorce mean I should stop sleeping with her?", I teased.

"You better!"

_As you should with Zach! _At that point I decided that Anna was right. I had to tell her how I felt.

_So I wanna know_

_What the name of the game?_

_Does it mean anything to you?_

_What's the name of the game?_

_Can you feel it the way I do?_

_Tell me please_

_Cos I have to know_

"No worries", I sat down and pulled her with me. "But I'm really glad you came over. I wanna talk to you about something..."

"Yeah I know", she pressed herself against me.

"So what do you say?", he looked at me hopefully.

"I love you with all my heart. And that's all I can offer you so far. I'm just not ready... You have to decide if love is enough for you."

**Please review!! I don't mean to sound desperate but PLEASE!! **


	6. SOS part 1

**AN:**** Hey guys! I wanna thank you so much for your reviews! It really makes mit happy that you're sticking with me, even though I didn't update for over two years! I hope you keep on reading! And I also hope you like this chapter! I'm always open for critism or particular wishes!**

**Chapter 6: SOS – Part 1**

Summers POV

_Chocolate pie! I so bad needed chocolate pie! After two months of diet and going to a gym for a guy who turned out to be gay that seemed the only solution. And lucky for me „Perry's Bakery", where they made the best pie in the whole state, had opened all night drooling I spotted the delicious looking cake through the shop window**.**_

„_You're so mine!", I told it while entering the shop. _

_Apparently the bakery was beginning to get popular for its good cakes. When I first was here a few months ago, I was sometimes the only customer of the day. Now the smallshop floor was almost to close for all the people. _

_Thank god the shop-girl was quick. The five minutes I waited still seemed like five hours. I was practically starving. _

„_Who's next?", Nancy, that was what her name-tag said, asked with a bright smile._

„_The chocolate cake please!", the guy next to me suddenly said. _

„_Excuse me! I was next!", angrily I squeezed myself in front of him. _

„_I was sitting back there the whole time since you entered the store", he explaineddisdainful. _

„_Well if you're not in line that doesn't count...", I returned. What a jackass!_

„_Fine, lady's first... even if the lady seems to be a bitch", he took a step to the side so I could order. _

„_I'd like the chocolate cake, please!"_

„_The whole cake or just a piece?", Nancy asked. _

„_Is is the last cake you have for today?", I wanted to know._

_She just nodded: „Yes."_

_I threw the tall jackass-guy a charming smile, before I turned back to the counter: „The whole cake, yes!"_

_Happily smiling I left the shop with the cake in my hands and got into my car. In my rear view mirror could see the jackass standing at the bakery looking after me as I drove away. _

„Good morning, darling!", Zach kissed me as soon as I had opened an eye. „Happy anniversary!"

I smiled and cuddled deeper into my cushions: "Happy anniversary!"

"I have an idea!", he told me, leaning up on his elbow and looking at me. "Why don't I take the day off, we drop the kids at your fathers and make ourselves a nice day. Maybe drive to the beach ... "

I managed to smile. If he only knew about the other plans I had made for today... At least for the time he was at work.

"But didn't you tell me yesterday that this governor or something is coming to your office today?"

He nodded frustrated: "Damn it! I totally forgot! I'm sorry Sum! But we're still having dinner tonight! And maybe we'll go to the beach afterwards... or whatever you wanna do!"

Nodding I gave him a smile before walking into the bathroom. When I had reached the shower and the hot water was pouring over my body I couldn't help but cry a little. I was in way over my head! Seth expected me to make a decision, which I wasn't ready to make yet. And Zach didn't make choosing easy. All of it would have been so simple if my husband was an abusive, cheating, alcoholic asshole. But no. Maybe it was just imagination, but he seemed to be getting more caring with every day.

I leaned against the cold tiles and didn't even bother to touch a soap or shampoo bottle. How did all of this get so fucked up? When Seth wasn't here I didn't even question the fact that I would leave my husband as soon as he would be back in my life. Not that I seriously expected to see him ever again. I thought that those few days back then was all we've got.

I sank to the floor and started to cry even harder. I didn't wanna choose! I wanted to--

"Mooooooooom!" The lovely voice of my daughter told me she was incredible upset.

I sighed and got out of the shower. A girl couldn't even pity herself around here!

"Mooooooooom!", since the desperate tone it had before even got worse, I quickly threw on a bathrobe and went to Lilly's room.

Standing in the door frame I couldn't help but burst into laughter: "Oh no honey you didn't!"

Her hair looked like a ... I couldn't even describe it. Horrible was probably the right word.

Still laughing I went to her and try to put the hair behind her ears: "If you wanted to dye your hair blond why didn't you just go to a hairstylist, honey?"

"Because Eve told me that it would take like a whole day to dye dark hair blond. And this hair color promises to do it over night while you sleep. Plus it's cheaper."

I looked at her green shaded hair: "And saving a few dollars and hours of time was worth it?"

"Ha ha! I know that the whole thing was a bad idea! Just tell me what I should do now! I can't go to school like this!"

"We'll get you an appointment at the hairstylist and you just call in sick for school today."

"Thanks Mom! You're the best!", she hugged me and the took a closer look at me. "Have you been crying?"

I shook my head and quickly turned away: "No, of course not. I just got some shampoo in the eye."

She jut looked at me and didn't really seem to buy it but apparently she wanted to let it go – for now.

Seth's POV

The word displeased wasn't even close to telling what I was feeling. I was annoyed. I was pissed. Marissa Cooper-Ward, soon to be Cooper-Atwood, was analyzing my relationship to Summer.

She had broken into a brotherly lunch between me and Ryan. And he had come up with great idea to put in a womans opinion! _Thanks a lot, bro!_

"... all I'm saying is that if she wanted to leave Zach, she would've done it right away. You're together for what, a month now? A lot of time to end it."

"But she has to think of her kids! Stuff like that can do big damage to them", I threw in.

"Bullshit!", Marissa had really talked herself in heat now. "Lilly doesn't give a shit for her father and Michael... well I bet he is the last kid in his class whose parents aren't divorced."

"It still could be hard on them!"

"I think it's even harder to grow up with parents who are not happy with each other!"

The really annoying thing was that I knew she was right on some level. Drunks and kids tell the truth right?

"Believe me Seth", she sat next to me and held my hand, which I pulled away just a second later. "If you really wanna leave, you just leave. She would've left him eight years ago."

"I don't know if it's that easy, Marissa", Ryan started. "I mean—"

A knock on the door interrupted him and a second after that Summer stepped in.

"Hey Cohen! The door was open ...", she looked around giving Ryan a warm smile. "Hey Ryan!"

That smile froze the minute she turned to his fiancée. She just got a cold nod: "Marissa."

"Seth if you have company I can come back later...", she offered.

But Ryan immediately stood up and pulled his with him: "No, we were leaving anyway. It was nice to see you Summer! Bye!"

With them out the door Summer stepped towards me and gave me a passionated kiss. Then she cuddled herself into my arm: "I missed you."

"You just got of the boat 7 hours ago!", I smiled.

"So? That's a reason but no hurdle!"

"Hey, you wanna take a little turn around up and down the coast? Or do you have something to do?"

"No I got the whole afternoon, and that sounds wonderful."

I couldn't help but feel some kind of distance between us. It felt like there was this imaginary wall between us. The giant elephant in the room with the big word "CHOOSE" on each side. Maybe I shouldn't have been so hard on her. I knew she was struggling with the chronic balance actbetween me and Zach. Maybe I shouldn't have put her under pressure. If you love someone you'll wait for them, right?

But now I couldn't get Marissa's words out of my mind. She had left her husband as soon as she had met Ryan. Was there love stronger than ours? No freaking way.

Why had everything to be that difficult? Maybe over a million times I thought about what differences it would had made if I had only met her sooner. Like in high school or college. What if we had really moved to Newport all those years ago? What if she would had married me instead of him?

But the answer to that questions really didn't matter. It just was the way it was. And I would capture every minute with her. Even if we wouldn't end up together.

I pulled out of the long kiss we had just fallen into: "So I'll get the boat ready! I'll be right back. Why don't you start undressing!"

She shook her head smiling and pulled a bikini out of her bag. In the mean time I went up on deck and prepared everything. When I was just about ready to go, Summer suddenly turned up with a serious look on her face.

"You have to go, right?"

"I'm sorry. Apparently Zach got of work early and wants us to do something together."

"Why don't you just say you made other plans?", I pulled her into a tight embrace.

"It's our wedding anniversary. I owe him that much!", she told me apologizing.

"Sure...", I turned away from her working the boat back into 'park position'. "And what about us? Don't you owe us anything?"

The minute I said it and saw the hurt expression on Summers face I regretted it.

"Seth you know I love you more than anything!" I saw that tears were forming in her eyes.

"Yeah so you keep telling me", I was to angry and disappointed to have any pity for her now. "But you do nothing to show it to me! Zach always comes first in your life! Maybe Marissa is right, you'll never leave him!"

"You talked to Marissa about us?", her hurt look took a glimpse of anger now.

"I talked to Ryan and she put in her opinion. And you know what? She's not all that wrong!"

"Marissa has not a clue how a marriage works! She was drunk all the years through hers! Staying in my beach house every other weekend, when Luke couldn't take anymore of her binge drinking. So let that bitch out of it!"

All the sudden I couldn't keep the one question back that was torturing me for a long time now: "Are you still sleeping with him?"

"What?", she looked at me shocked.

"You understood me. Are – you – still - having - sex - with - your – husband?"

"I don't think thats any of your business!", she said cold.

"Of course it is my god damn business! You say you love me, but if you're still sleeping with him that's like you're cheating on me."

She threw her head back and moaned annoyed: "Why don't you just fuck Anna, and get it over with, so we're even!"

With those words she grabbed her purse, jumped of the boat and ran to her car.

_Where are those happy days_

_they seem so hard to find_

_I try to reach for you _

_but you have closed your mind_

_whatever happened to our love_

_I wish I understood_

_It used to be so nice_

_It used to be so good_

Angrily I kicked against a wooden box that was standing on the floor. If I was great at one thing than probably ruining a relationship.

To be continued

**Please review! Please!**


	7. SOS Part 2

**AN: **Again thank you so much for your reviews! They keep me inspired! Hope you like this chapter!

**Chapter 6: SOS – Part 2**

Summers POV

Angrily crying I slammed the door behind me. Through a curtain of tears I almost ran into my, now brunette again, daughter.

I mumbled a "Hey!" and wanted to make the way to my bedroom when she grabbed my wrist.

"What's wrong, Mum?", she asked worried.

I held my head down, so the hair would fall into my face: "Everything is allright... would you mind, I wanna refresh my make up!"

She stopped me again. "With the mascara spread all over your face from crying that would be a good idea!" Her glare got more intense. "_What is wrong_?"

I freed myself of her grip and went to the bathroom. Lilly right behind me. I leaned over the sink and washed my face with ice cold water. After drying myself I sat down on the floor. She kneeled down next to me.

"Mum?"

Another wave of tears washed over me.

"If you would be older I could explain it to you..."

"You always say I'm precocious!"

I even managed a smile: "No. For this you're just to young. We're talking really screwed up adult stuff!"

We sat there in silence for a moment. Just having someone caring about me helped a little.

"Are you and Dad getting a divorce?", she asked all the sudden.

"Lilly, I really need to be alone right now."

My, in other situations so curious, daughter nodded and left me sitting there by myself.

_A vigorous knock made me look up from my work._

"_I'm coming!" Quickly I shoved some of the mess lying around under my bed. There was a good chance that my father was standing outside. And he couldn't standmessy environment. _

_When I opend the door I thought I was struck by a lightning. It was arrogant-cake-stealing-jackass guy. _

"_I want my cake!", he told me with a strict look and crossed arms. For the first time I noticed something attractive about his look. How did I miss that earlier?_

"_You're kidding right?", I couldn't help but laugh over a reason like that._

"_You stole it. I was the next in line! That cake was supposed to me mine!"_

"_You said 'Ladies first' and gave me the advantage!"_

"_I wouldn't have if I knew that you are a cake thief!" His voice had reached a dramatic pinch by now._

"_Well you wanted to be a gentleman so now deal with the consequenes!"_

_I tried to close the door but he put a foot in and looked at me with – I suddenly realized - incredible greeneyes._

"_I want my cake", he told me forceful_**.**

"_Well then you'll have to get pass me to get it, won't ya?!", I crossed my arms, blocked the door and returned his forcefulstare._

......

_Some time later both of us had a fork in hand and fed the other one with great pleasure. _

"_You know, I wouldn't let you through before I thought for a minute you wanted to hit me", I cuddled onto him._

"_My passionated and my angry face do look alike!", he laughed and kissed me once again. "I knew I would get the cake, but by kissing you I also got the woman."_

"_That you did...", I gave him a kiss that made both of us forget about the cake._

Seth's POV

"You're a god damn idiot, Cohen!", over the phone I could hear Anna walking up and down.

"I know I am... but I just did what you told me to do!", helplessly I took a sip from my fifth beer.

"I didn't tell you to yell at her! I said talk about your feelings – in a normal voice!"

"I did use a normal voice", I answered sheepish.

"Then why did she run off crying?"

"There is something I haven't told you yet!"

She sighed: "Fantastic..."

"I told her that sleeping with Zach was like cheating on me. And I can't help it, but it just feels that way!"

"How does that make you feel?"

"Like she is ripping my heart out and stepping with her newest heels on it that he bought her."

"See, and you've only been together for a little more than a month. Imagine how it must feel after a marriage of 15 years! That is the reason why she can't tell Zach. Not because she doesn't love you enough! Just because she doesn't wants him to feel that way. She doesn't wanna be that person. And you wouldn't love her if she was."

"Why are you're wasting your time in that gallery? You could make millions as a therapist", I laughed.

"No I wouldn't." She told me**.**

"Why is that?"

"Because you would take up all my apointments all day long. And you can't take money if you're treating your ex-husband. That would be like cleaning up the mess I produced."

"Thank you Anna."

"You're welcome. And Seth?"

"Yes?"

"Don't do anything stupid."

Summers POV

"You look wonderful my darling!" Zach kissed me on the cheek.

I sighted. If he only knew how much lotion, make up and time it had cost me to get rid of this ugly red puffy eyes. And even without the eyes I wouldn't have agreed with him. My outfit was just a expression of my feelings. I was wearing a black dress, really dark eye shadow and my hair back into a tight ponytail. It all combiened made my face look really hard.

Somehow I had made it through a day of walking on the beach and acting happy. Now I just had to make it thorugh a five course meal without crying. Couldn't be that hard could it?

_Nervously I stood infront of the apartment door with the numbers 22 on it. It had taken me about one hour bringing up the courage to enter the apartment building at all._

_Now I was looking at the number infront of me for five minutes. I couldn't remember ever feeling more frighented. I took a deep breath._

"_Come on Summer! You can do this!", I tried to talk some courage into myself._

_I reached out to the bell. The I stopped. No I couldn't do it. I turned around and was about to walk down the hallway, when the door opened._

_A surprised Zach looked at me. _

"_Summer! What are you doing here?"_

_Behind him apperared a tall blonde who looked so intimidating I was afraid a look into her eyes would make me a marble statue. Her blue eyes looked at me cold and dismissive._

"_Eh Summer, this is Kate. Kate, Summer!"_

_I managed a smile: "Nice to meet you." She just nodded at me._

_Whatever bitch, I thought and turned to Zach: "I really gotta talk to you!"_

"_Now is actually not a good time. We have tickets for the theater!", Kate turned in. _

_I ignored her and looked at him intensly: "It's really important!" _

_He sighed: "Kate, why don't you go ahead. I'll meet you there later."_

_She took off pissed. To say the least._

"_So you two are dating?", I asked with a hint of jealousy. Even though I had no right to. After all we had agreed that is was okay to see other people._

"_We just went out a few times."_

"_I bet you're mother loves her", I said, bitterly thinking about the first meeting with his mom._

"_What is going on Summer?", Zach was clearly uncombfortable talking about this._

"_Could we not talk about this in the hallway?", I pleaded. _

_Sitting on his big couch with a glas of water in my hand I looked at him nervous. Leaning against the against the cupboard across the room he looked at me expecting, but my voice seemed to be completely gone. _

"_Again Summer: What is going on? If you're here to break up with me --"_

"_I'm pregnant."_

_His face turned pale within seconds and he had to sit down: "Are you sure?"_

"_I took five tests. And my doctor confirmed today."_

"_So.. What do you wanna do? I mean..."_

"_Well.. I'll probably take care of it..."_

_His face got a expression of horror: "You wanna...?"_

"_What am I supposed to do? We clearly both didn't plan this."_

_He stood up and sat down next to me: "But that doesn't mean you have to get an abortion!"_

_I felt tears forming in my eyes: "It's not what I want! But I can't do this alone. I would have to drop out of college. And I don't have to expect to much help from my father. He made that clear. And you--"_

"_I'm here.", he interrupted me. "It's my baby, too."_

"_Are you serious?!" _

"_Of course!", he kissed me and put one hand onto my stomach. "You don't have a clue how much I missed you in this last weeks!"_

_I smiled with tears rolling down my cheeks: "But what about that Kate chick?"_

"_Nothing. My mother introduced us. She's no one compared to you!"_

_We sunk into each others arms and kissed. Then I pulled a sonograph picture out of my purse and put it into his hand._

"_This is our baby."_

_I knew I'd never forget the look on his face. There was so much love in it. _

"_I guess this is a choclate cake situation...", he said with a bright smile._

I looked up from the menue in my hands. After smiling through a five course dinner I was exhausted. I couldn't keep up the facadefor much longer.

"What are you having for dessert?", Zach asked.

I shrugged silently.

"I have an idea! How about we share a choclate cake! We haven't done that in years", Zach suddenly suggested.

I knew that it was the most romantic thing to think of on our anniversary and still I didn't have the smallest bit of emotion in me. If it would've been Seth sitting across from me I would have kissed him right now. I would've told him how much I loved him. If it would be Seth a lot of things would be different.

Still I managed a small smile: "That sounds fantastic."

After we had ordered Zachs smile even grew wider: "Just like in our honeymoon. Do you remember? Room service deliverd us a cake every day. We didn't leave bed at all."

"Yes I remember", I sunk into my thoughts. "Everything seemed so easy back then didn't it?"

_You seem so far away _

_though you are standing near_

_you made me feel alive _

_but something died I fear_

_I really tried to make it up_

_I wish I understood_

_what happened to our love _

_it used to be so good_

"It doesn't seem so hard now...", he took my hand into his and kissed the palm.

I pulled my hand away: "Could we maybe skip dessert? I don't feel well."

He nodded with a dissapointed face: "Sure. Let's go home. We can get the cake some other time."

"Yes."

"Did I say something wrong?" He took my hand once again, this time with a tighter grip.

I shook my head.

"What is going on, Summer?"

"I'm just tired."

"Don't lie to me. You haven't been happy for quite a while. So tell me, what can I do?"

There it was. The chance to tell him everything. Tell him I fell in love with another man. Tell him how that man made me feel alive in a way I hadn't felt in years. Tell him that our chochlate cake days were over. Tell him I wanted a divorce. But again I wimped out.

"Nothing", I simply answered.

"What is it?"

"Nothing. Let's just go home."

He sighed: "Whatever you want."

Seth's POV

With an imense amount of booze running through my system I must have fallen asleep sometime after my talk to Anna and before making my way over to my bed. And since I fell asleep on the couch, the muscles in my back felt completely stiff. I considered what would cost me more pain. Getting up and stretch myself a little bit or staying where I was.

I skipped that descison when suddenly Summers face appeared infront of mine. Actually I saw her twice... but the more the merrier, right?

"Hey", she whispered softly.

"Hey", I answered. "How was dinner with---"

Her finger on my lips made me shut up and instead of answering she kissed me. And even though it must have cost her a huge amount of break-through to kiss me when my breathe was smelling like Marissa's after a party with her friend Jack (Daniels) – it was the best kiss we ever had.

_So when you near me darling_

_can't you hear me _

_SOS_

_the love you gave me_

_nothing else can save me_

_SOS_

_When you're gone_

_How can I even try to go on_

_When you're gone_

_No I tried_

_how can I carry on_

We parted and she looked me deep in the eye. A small smile appeared on her face as she said: "I told him."

**AN:**

Hope you're not to confused towards the end. Explanation will follow. I hope you liked the chapter. I also hope for many reviews! Please, please, please! =)


	8. Knowing me, Knowing you

**AN: I wanna thank you guys for all your amazing reviews! They inspire me so much! Well your reviews and the fact that I should actually study for my exams... **

**Special thanks to my beta reader Iva! I tried to heed your advices as good as possible!**

**Hope you all like it!**

Chapter 7 – Knowing me, Knowing you

Summers POV

The whole night we just lay there, cuddled close to each other. This moment easily made it to the top five of my happiest moments ever. From time to time Cohen pulled me into a kiss.

"Say it again", he pleaded every time.

With a smile I returned the kiss: "I told him that I want a divorce."

He looked like a little boy who had just received the best ultimate Christmas gift. Then he would close his eyes and pull me even tighter.

It kind of seemed ridiculous to me that this talk I had been planned for months. That I had been repeating in my head all over again was now over. We sat in the car, in our drive way, ready to get out and suddenly I heard me telling him how I wanted a divorce.

He was incredible confused and hurt. But even with all the pity and love I had felt for him I felt that it was the right thing to do. On our way home I suddenly felt deeply depressed. It was the thought of spending another 15 anniversaries like this. Should I give up my chance for love out of pity for my husband? That wasn't fair to him or to me.

One thing I rued in retrospect though, was the fact I ran off to Seth immediately. Not just because he deserved a better explanation then the one I gave him. I had to be the one to tell the kids. Good thing Michael was at my parents house. But Lilly was home. She would have some questions if I spend the night somewhere else. Especially after my breakdown yesterday.

Seth's POV

I watched her blink at the first rays of sunshine which fell through the small window. She looked so incredible beautiful. And I was so incredible happy. Sometime between her departure and my talk to Anna yesterday I had already given up all hope for a happy ending. And here we were now.

"You aren't watching me sleeping, are you?", she mumbled dozy and went back into sleeping position.

"What if I am?"

"I'd ask you for how long and if I did anything embarrassing...", she didn't bother to open her eyes.

"I watched you all night long and you looked like a angel the whole time..." I carefully stroke a black curl out of her face. "I had to make sure it wasn't just a dream. I had to make sure you'd be there in the morning."

She smiled and kissed me: "When I just opened my eyes I thought how I can't remember being this happy waking up. And how I never ever will wake up without the wish that you're beside me."

"That sounds beautiful... but you just totally stole that line from 'Thorn Birds'!"

She laughed and set astride on me: "You have to ruin every moment I try to create for us, don't you?"

Before I had a chance to end my sentence she gave me a glowing kiss and shoved her hands under my shirt. As I tried to sit up she pushed me back on the mattresses.

"You just relax."

Nothing she would have to tell me twice. I felt her finger reaching the waistband of my boxers. Pulling it down she spread small kisses all over my chest and stomach. Really slowly, as if for some kind of torture, she made her way deeper. When I felt her reaching my penis I couldn't help put hear the voice of the GPS in my parents car: "You've reached your destination".

I closed my eyes and just enjoyed her touch. I once again realized that we seemed to know exactly knew what the other liked. With every contact we had skin to skin, even if it was just holding her hand, I felt little fireworks. And her treatment right now pushed me close to passing out. Every moment brought me closer to the edge. Just one more second... one more...

"Ew."

Surprised I opened my eyes. Ew? She had never said that... My first look wandered to Summer. She looked just as disoriented as I. My second view was captured by the door frame.

"I'm gonna need therapy till I'm forty...", Lilly looked at us with a disgusted face. She turned round her heel and was gone.

"Fuck", Summer grabbed my shirt that lay on the floor and pulled it over.

When I saw her running out the door after her daughter the thought entered my mind that Summers decision for me wasn't written in stone.

Summers POV

My eyes needed a second to adapt to the bright sunlight when I steeped out of the cabin. I saw Lilly sitting on the sun deck. I slowly approached her.

"Lilly?", I asked gentle. "Is everything all right."

"If you look over the disgust trauma which I'll probably have for the rest of my life.... ", she gave me an angry stare. "Do you actually kiss your kids with that mouth?"

We looked at each other and had a spontaneous laughing fit.

I sat down next to her and put a arm around her: "Did dad tell you?"

She nodded silently.

"I'm so sorry. That would have been my job. Is everything okay with you?"

"After what I saw in there?", she joked. "No, I'm all right."

"How is your father?"

"Miserable. I don't really like the guy but he is picture of misery, mum. He didn't even go to work. The last time I saw him he was wearing pj's sitting in the bedroom and staring at your wedding picture."

With all my might I fought down a bad conscience. Pity wasn't a good reason to stay married.

"You have to go and talk to him", I heard a voice from behind me. I turned around and saw Seth standing there. "I'm sorry I wasn't eavesdropping. But it's just the right thing."

I stood up and hugged him: "Thanks."

With a mix of confusion and amusement he laughed: "For what?"

"For being so patient with me. For waiting for me. For being you", I gave him a small peck on the lips.

Even if Lilly had just seen us doing way more than just pecking, even this small kiss with Seth in front of my daughter felt terribly awkward. There was so much I had to explain her.

"Thank God for the G-rated version...", Lilly sighed.

"I think we haven't been introduced properly", Seth turned away from me to Lilly. "I'm Seth. Nice to meet you."

She just looked skeptical on his stretched out hand then she looked at me: „This guy? Seriously? Weren't you able to do better?"

"Lilly!", I was ready to reproach her when Seth stopped me.

"Don't. I've been asking myself the very same thing..."

Something told me that those two would get along.

Slowly I opened the front door. Silently I hoped I wouldn't find my husband hanging in some corner. Not finding the house destroyed was a little relieve for me. I felt like a thief in my own home. Sneaking around, carefully lurking in every single door frame.

"Hey Sum!", Zach walking past me almost gave me a heart attack.

With a small scream I leaped aside. After a moment of shock I followed after him into his office.

"Zach... how are you?"

"Fine. Buried in work as always", he looked up to me and smiled. "How are you?"

"Good", I answered bewildered. Why the hell was he acting so normal?

He nodded over some files: "That's great, honey."

The last word made me look up. Had my confession from last night made him go lunatic? Was this the time to run outside and scream for help?

"I wanna talk about yesterday", I told him forceful. "You do remember yesterday?"

"Our anniversary, of course. It was great."

"Stop that fucking amnesia small talk! You know exactly what I'm talking about."

Settled he stood up and put some papers into a cabinet, his back facing me: "Just because you want a divorce doesn't mean I'll agree to that."

"So what do you wanna do? Act like I never told you anything and have everything going on the way it used to?"

"Yes. I refuse to loose you", he still wasn't looking at me.

"Your 'refusing'", my voice tripped of sarcasm "won't make Seth or my feelings for him any less real."

I could hear him talking a deep breath: "As long as you stay with me, I'm giving you free space to see him as often as you want too."

"You ---", I walked towards him and twisted him by force around. "You what?"

He obviously had to swallow: "Sure. I made a promise in front of God. 'In good days as in bad...' Just as you did! Well here are bad days!"

Rage flashed in my eyes. But he resisted my evil eye without even blinking. Which made me become really mean...

"So you can accept it?", I spat every word in his face. "You can accept that I would meet him every day? Accept that I will tell him he's the only man I ever really loved? Accept that we would be naked together?"

Zach closed his eyes. "Stop it", he mumbled barely a whisper.

I knew I should've stopped there. But I was in full flow. This was a major rage blackout.

"You could accept it if I sucked his cock?"

"Stop it", he requested again.

"Could you also accept that, while you're lying in bed, waiting for me, I'd fuck him? Like I have for the last months!"

I would've gone on and on but before the next brutality could escape my lips he slapped me. I put my hand onto the red and painly burning spot in my face. The anger that began to raise in me vanished when I watched Zach sit down on the floor, burring his face in his hands and starting to cry.

Never in my life I had seen him cry. God, how much had I hurt him? For a second I stood there, unsure what to do. Then I plucked up courage and sat down next to him. I embraced him and he let me. He pulled me into a tight hug and cried on my shoulder. While I had been with Seth all this last months I had never felt guilty at all. Frankly because I thought Zach woulnd't care that much. But seeing him like this now the guilt of the last month crushed down over me.

„I love you, Summer! You do love me too, right?" He started to place little kisses along my neck and I just let him. This wasn't cheating on Seth. This was saying goodbye to my husband.

When his lips had reached my mine I kissed him back tenderly. His arms reached around me and he pulled me closer. I also slung my arms around his neck to deepen the kiss. After a few seconds I pulled back.

„I love you, Zach. But I'm not in love with you", our lips touched one last time. „I'm sorry!"

He broke loose and just sat there looking down on the ground. The curtain had become very interesting all the sudden.

„I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to hit you."

„Maybe I deserved it..."

He shook his head: „You've made your decision, right?"

"Yes."

Was there more to say? Not really. Still we kept sitting on the floor and kept talking for the next five hours. I think it was the most intimate and honest moment in our whole marriage.

Actually I didn't wanna tell him too much about Seth, so I wouldn't hurt him more than I already had. But Zach wanted to know. Maybe out of some strange glutton for punishment, more likley so he could make sure that this wasn't just some fling that would be over in a month.

We agreed that – no matter what - the kids would be our major priority. We would share custody and till I had found my own place they would stay here with him.

We talked about our marriage. About the good and bad days we've had. Cried together, laughed together and also kept silence together.

After what seemed like an eternity, with stiff and aching bones, we stood up.

"Oh Zach... I struggled for so long to make this decision... and now it's over so quickly. Thank you for making it so easy..."

"Stay", he said all the sudden. "We'll work it out. Don't leave me."

Smiling sad I could do nothing but shake my head: "I can't."

He nodded: "I know. I just had to try it. Otherwise I would regret it forever."

I pulled him into another tight embrace and couldn't avert that some tears were running over my cheek.

_Knowing me, Knowing you_

_There is nothing we can do_

_Knowing me, Knowing you_

_We just have to face it this time - we're through_

_Breaking up is never easy I know, but I have to go_

_Knowing me, Knowing you_

_It's the best I can do_

In silence we walked to the door. There we stopped and faced each other once again.

He sighed: "So this is it, I guess..."

I nodded: "This is it. I'll call you, okay?"

With a kiss on each cheek we made our farewells. I stepped out into the afternoon sun.

When the door closed behind me, I took a deep breathe. All the sudden the feeling of wearing a very tight corset, that I've had for the last weeks, was gone. And I smiled.

To be continued

**AN: So there you've got it. She left him. But that doesn't mean they'll live happily ever after. More drama is just around the cornor! **

**Please review and let me know what you think.**


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